I’m not drunk. I should be. I’m trying to get drunk and have a vision of Croatoa. It’s worked before. Maybe this time it will. Croatoans didn’t drink because they didn’t know it until the Europeans showed up. They probably take a drink now and again if any are left. I think white people showed up in Croatoa drunk. They were happy they found Croatoa or sad because they lived their whole life before in another place or angry Croatoa was nicer than where they lived. The Croatoans noticed. They moved and found another swamp. There was always a white guy behind them saying wait up.
I shouldn’t drink. My friend told me that Croatoans die of liver disease and everyone else dies of lung cancer. I’m going to die from both. It’s not true but he had a point. He didn’t say Croatoans but I know what he meant. We both lived in the surburbs growing up on the edge of a city that abutted a reservation. There was a line that we never crossed even though he had family there.
I’m not saying Croatoans are Native Americans or the First Nations of people on this continent. The Croatoans were and are but I don’t think they made it that far. I grew up a long way from Croatan.
We used to go to Mac’s together. We stepped over drunks to get in. At least until someone called the cops. We were just kids and didn’t know why. We just went there to get magazines and candy and sneak cigarettes. There was a rumor that the drunks drank household cleaning products. When I was older they put that stuff behind the counter so no one would steal it.
I remember one day there was a standoff on the news and I had wandered across the line. I didn’t know about it till the next day. I walked onto the reservation and there were police in flak jackets with rifles and helmets. Some guy had his wife and children and a gun. The cops let me keep walking and barely acknowledged me. I wasn’t a Croatoan but I had passed for one even then. Or maybe I was just a kid and they didn’t care.