Croatoa isn’t an empire. I wish it were but empires are always selfish. I want to be an empire of myself but then I don’t think I’d get to Croatoa. Croatoans are probably not like  that and don’t care whether I’m self absorbed or not or if I have delusions of grandeur. Maybe they just like the company of someone and wait for them to speak and tell their story.

I wouldn’t fit in if I could get there. I like to talk too much. I have all kinds of ideas spinning around in my head and if anyone gives me a chance to talk then I verbally vomit all over them. That’s a universal truth. No one likes being puked on.

I have an inflated sense of self bordering on narcissism except for the part where I hate myself. I’ve never actually puked on anyone aside from myself. That’s probably wrong but my memory is foggy.

There were times in the woods in the dead of winter as a child. I was thinkiong about it today. It was silly. It was kids making up a story. No one was in charge of it. We just chased after a stick in the snow until everyone got tired and went home. I always had the soggiest feet because I’d wade into the creek after the stick. I thought everyone hated me the most. I’m sure no one did. It was only in my head.

I puked after seeing the northern lights one time laying on my back in the deep of summer. The entire sky lit up for hours. It wasn’t an alien attack. It was really wondrous. The next day we all read in the paper that NASA conducted an experiment and put dust in the atmosphere to cause the sky to light up.

That’s when I decided I didn’t like empires and likely why I puked. I wasn’t even an alcoholic then I was just a kid.



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